Chick-en Pad-dies!

Everyday at camp we eat in the dining hall; after flag raising, at lunchtime and after flag lowering. It is to be a civilized dining experience, however, walking into the dining hall sounds just like walking into a crowded bar. The din comes from a bunch of boys with ADD tendencies.

We say prayer and then all hell breaks loose. The runners emerge from the kitchen delivering meals. At the first sight of a chicken patty the chant begins with fists on the tables, "Chick-en Pad-dies, Chick-en Pad-dies..." A camper drops his cup and another chant with finger pointing begins, "You, you, you, you, ahhhhhh YOU!" On trip days counselors have to remain alert so campers do not do this chant in public restaurants as they are conditioned.

Boys get lost on their way to the salad bar aimlessly wandering in laps araound the dining hall. Little Freddy even eats a fluff sandwich as he walks with a smile on his face getting the sticky white marshmellow behind his ear, on his cheek, down his shirt. Some of the lost boys stare as if they've never been in this dining hall before, observing the wall hangings and climbing behind the directors' table which is against the rules.

Others are busy tracking down the grilled cheese sandwiches, the coveted meal alternative for kosher and vegetarian eaters. The chef carries the grilled cheeses out on a tray high above her head to make it past the grabbing hands.

As the kitchen staff hangs the sign instructing everyone to save a spoon for dessert another chant begins, "Save your spoon! Save your spoon!" A handful of campers have priorities other than sweets. These campers hurry through each meal to play the salt and pepper shaker game which entails sliding the containers across the picnic tables at each other. The other popular game is called "Bear-Karate-Gun" mimicking "Rock-Paper-Scissors." Bear kills karate, karate chops gun and gun shoots bear. Counselors are not too old for immaturity catapulting small bits of food and using salad tongs to lift glasses.

Birthdays are also special occasions in the dining hall as the lights go out and cakes are carried to the campers of honor. Camp, of course, has a special version of "Happy Birthday" during which everyone does the wave and shouts a girly "Woooo" to finish each line of the song. At the end is a thundering drumroll on the picnic tables. The more noise the better.

And the clock keeps ticking. Meals in the dining hall extend for an eternity since the directors call each row seperately to serve themselves. Announcements over a microphone conclude each meal and counselors make the sign of the buffalo to quiet the campers.

The chaos of the dining hall has not been matched by any bar to which I've been but it is possible that somewhere out there a crazier place exists.